As a bookaholic, I spend an inordinate amount of time reading books and when I’m not reading books, I am reading blogs about books. I recently came upon this little gem that had me at the title. It is not that I am a “storytelling animal” so to speak, but I am ever so grateful that there are those who are. They have entertained me for years, I have learned about the world and its inhabitants, the ins and outs of relationships on all levels with a great deal of Jeopardy preparation garnered along the way.

I ran across this book and before I pushed the “Buy now with 1-Click®” button I read the blurb, the author interview and reviews by readers. It looked like “The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human by Jonathan Gottschall” was going to be mine by Friday. That two-day delivery catches me every time. In book purchase lingo that translates to “instant gratification.” Click and it is mine, on Friday that is. 

Meanwhile in my somewhat disjointed collection of useless information I remembered an essay I had read some time ago, by some philosopher that I studied in another one of those useless humanities classes that prepared me to become an erudite bookseller as opposed to a wealthy stockbroker. I don’t resent it, I mean after all I kick ass at Jeopardy and Trivial Pursuit. That does stand for something in this day and age, doesn’t it?

Now, here I go through the card catalog of my brain and in my search I have absolute certainty that the next one of those little drawers will have the name. That was a poorly spent amount of time in the Google/Wikipedia realm of the world of knowledge that I would never get back. Now, I know all of you know the secret of finding the mystery answer lies in the search words entered in the magic text box.

Don’t expect me to reveal the number of dead ends I ran across when I didn’t have the formula for the Holy Grail of answers I was searching for. And, then, I realized this was probably some philosopher (masculine, of course) who I attempted to mine for all the worthwhile  knowledge he had to offer. Then, on the list of what seemed like the 737th page I came across a name and the magic chord of “AHA” coursed through my brain. That’s right! It was good ole Arthur Schopenhauer. Peeking around the corner of the library of my mind it all came back in bits and pieces.

This was a philosopher who definitely had an impact on two of my favorites, Nietzsche and Wittgenstein, they abandoned him, as did I, over such issues as his moralism, aesthetic and religious realism. I picked up all of that information which pushed me along the road to that nagging memory of something he professed that helped me slam the door on him until now. A few more searches and there it is, by gum! His long forgotten essay on, get ready, reading. Yep, he lost me and any respect that I had harbored for him upon reading this.

Now I could have retyped that so that it would be easier to read, but I decided that after finding it, making sure it was what I was looking for and finding smoke emanating from ears there was no way I was going to retype it. So, there it is folks. I was so glad I had pushed the “Buy now with 1-Click®” back when the search for the answer to my dilemma had frustrated me to the point where I justified buying the damn thing as a reward for my due diligence in even attempting to get to the bottom of the “lost” essay.

So, come Friday I will be laying back and reading my new book as I smirk at the silliness of Schopenhauer and the amount of energy I was willing to exert to get to the bottom of my literary conundrum. Think of me, my new book and put old Schopenhauer back into the recesses of your mind and get yourself a good book to wash away the memory.

To finish off with one of my favorite poets, I will take his dedication the books to cleanse my palate of YOU-KNOW-WHO.